Divorce planning
Plan calmly now, save money and heartache later.
Divorce planning is the work of understanding your situation well enough to make good decisions under pressure. None of it commits you to anything.
People who plan before they file tend to spend less, fight less and recover faster. Planning is not scheming; hiding money or moving assets backfires in every state. It is simply getting clear.
What planning actually covers
Four things, in roughly this order:
- Your finances. What you own, what you owe, what comes in and what goes out.
- Your state's rules. Residency, waiting periods, how property is divided and how support is calculated.
- Your options. Doing it yourselves, mediation, collaborative divorce or court.
- Your support. The people, professional and personal, who will help you through it.
Choose the right process
The process you choose shapes cost and time more than anything else:
| Process | Typical cost | Typical time |
|---|---|---|
| Uncontested, do it yourselves | Hundreds to a few thousand dollars | Close to the state minimum |
| Mediation | About $2,000 to $9,000 in total | Two to six months |
| Collaborative | About $15,000 to $30,000 | Three to twelve months |
| Contested in court | $15,000 to $50,000 or more each | One to three years |
Read four ways to divorce for how to choose.
Gather your documents
Collect three to five years of tax returns, recent pay stubs, twelve months of statements for every bank, investment and retirement account, your mortgage and deed, loan and credit card statements, and insurance policies. Keep copies somewhere private. The full list is in the documents to gather.
Open a bank account in your own name and pull your free credit reports so you know every joint account.
Plan for your children
Custody has two parts: decision-making (education, health, religion) and parenting time (where the children sleep). Think about a schedule that fits your children's ages and your work, and how you will handle holidays and school breaks. Child support follows a state formula that depends heavily on incomes and overnights. See building a parenting plan.
Protect yourself
- Change passwords and turn on two-factor sign in for email, phone, cloud and banking.
- Do not move or hide money. Many states freeze big changes automatically once a case is filed.
- Review beneficiaries and your will, but know that some changes are restricted once a case is open.
- If you are afraid of your spouse, read the safety guide first. The order of your steps matters.
Build your team
You may only need a few hours of professional help: a lawyer to review your settlement, a mediator for the house, a financial analyst for a pension. Add them when the question calls for it. KindSplit lets you book each by the hour.
Straight answers
Things people ask us first
How far ahead should I plan?
A few weeks to a few months is common. What matters is that your documents are gathered, your finances are clear and you understand your state's residency rule before you file.
Will my spouse know I am planning?
Not from KindSplit. Your account is private. Use a device and email your spouse cannot access.
What is a marital settlement agreement?
The written contract that sets out how you divide property and debts, support, and parenting. Once the court approves it, it becomes part of your judgment.
Do I need a lawyer to plan?
No. Many people plan on their own and bring in a lawyer for specific questions or a final review.