Planning ahead
If you are afraid of your spouse
Your safety comes before paperwork. Here is where to start.
If you are in danger right now, call 911.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential and open at all hours. Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788. Advocates can help you make a safety plan and find local shelters and legal help.
Protective orders
Every state lets you ask a court for a protective order, also called a restraining order. It can order your spouse to stay away, leave the home and have no contact. Courts can often grant a temporary order the same day. Local advocates can help you file, usually for free.
Divorce when there is abuse
- Talk to a lawyer or advocate before filing. The order of your steps matters.
- Mediation is often not appropriate. Many states allow you to skip it.
- Ask about keeping your address confidential. Many states have address confidentiality programs.
- Keep records of incidents, messages and injuries somewhere your spouse cannot reach.
Digital safety
Use a device your spouse has never touched if you can. Check for location sharing, shared cloud accounts and unfamiliar apps. Clear browser history if you need to, or use a private window.
This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws differ by state and change over time. For advice about your situation, talk to a licensed attorney in your state.
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Ready when you are
Turn this into your plan.
Counsel applies this to your state and your own numbers, and builds your roadmap with dates.