The legal process
How divorce mediation works
A neutral guide, a few sessions, and an agreement you both wrote.
Mediation is a private, voluntary process where a trained neutral helps spouses reach agreement. The mediator does not decide anything and does not represent either of you.
How it usually goes
- Choose a mediator with family law experience. Some are lawyers, some are therapists or financial professionals.
- Gather your numbers. Mediation moves fastest when both disclosures are ready.
- Work issue by issue in sessions of one to three hours: parenting, support, property, debts.
- Review the written agreement, ideally with a lawyer of your own.
- File it with the court as part of an uncontested divorce.
When mediation fits
- You can talk in the same room, or in separate rooms with the mediator moving between you.
- You both want privacy and control over the outcome.
- You have children and will co-parent for years.
When it may not
- There is abuse, intimidation or a serious power imbalance.
- One spouse is hiding money or will not disclose.
What you say in mediation is generally confidential and cannot be used in court, with limited exceptions such as threats of harm.
This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws differ by state and change over time. For advice about your situation, talk to a licensed attorney in your state.
More guides like this
More on the legal process
How a divorce moves through court, step by step
File, serve, disclose, agree, finalize. The names change by state. The shape does not.
Serving your spouse: methods, timing and proof
Service is the step most often done wrong. Here is how to do it right the first time.
Financial disclosures: what you must share and when
Full and honest disclosure is required in every state. Incomplete disclosure is the most expensive mistake in divorce.
Ready when you are
Turn this into your plan.
Counsel applies this to your state and your own numbers, and builds your roadmap with dates.