Serving your spouse: methods, timing and proof

Service of process is how the court knows your spouse was told about the case. If it is done wrong, a judgment can be delayed or even undone.

Common ways to serve

• Acceptance or waiver of service. Your spouse signs a form saying they received the papers. It is the gentlest option when you are on speaking terms.
• Personal service. An adult who is not part of the case, a sheriff or a professional process server hands the papers to your spouse. You cannot serve them yourself.
• Service by mail. Allowed in some states, usually with a signed return receipt or acknowledgment.
• Service by publication or posting. If you truly cannot find your spouse, a court can allow notice in a newspaper or online after you show a diligent search.

Proof of service

The person who served files a proof or return of service with the court. Keep a copy. The response clock starts from the date of service.

Response deadlines

Your spouse usually has 20 to 30 days to respond, depending on the state and how they were served. If they do not respond, many states let you request a default and continue without them.

Track service in the Filing screen. Counsel will calculate the response deadline and remind you when a default can be requested.

This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws differ by state and change over time. For advice about your situation, talk to a licensed attorney in your state.